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Again, the Gremlins have escaped. This time they went to Cyprus – after a long winter it is always nice to get some fresh air – they have stolen suits, snaked on board airplanes and broken into offices. They are causing panic amongst EU citizens. It is true that Cyprus’s economy needs reform and they have been doing things in their own way, but for a Gremlin intervention? Perhaps this is too excessive.

Who are these Gremlins? Who is the alpha Gremlin? What do they want? And can someone please, for god sake, lock them back into their cages?


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The habitual suspects are: infamous, unaccountable, ignominious and undemocratic hordes of neo-liberal schizophrenic monsters. They like to experiment, play and pry into other lives, feelings and finances. The last attack to citizen’s rights, and indeed mankind, is targeted towards Cyprus’s citizens. The Gremlins are making ordinary citizens responsible for the excessive macro-economic gambling they had no part in. Economic principles are similar to the principles of gravity – what goes up, must come down – eventually the bubbles bursts.


And in the height of hypocrisy and impudence, The European Union and its unaccountable institutions are breaking any commitment to their principles such as consumer protection and are making EU citizens accountable for the losses of private, poorly regulated, corporations. Whilst shamelessly giving morality lessons to the Venezuelan people on economic liberalism. Maybe European democracy is in serious risk after all?

Coming back to the research of these ugly creatures, the Gremlins, after years of investigations and forensic intelligence, we think that we have found one of their leaders.


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Who needs an ultra-safe Euro? Who would lose an election if they Euro were to weaken further? Would she still be the badass of the Gremlins? At this point dear reader you may have reached the same conclusion as we did: we travelled to Berlin to view this creature in her natural habitat. Yes, you are right. Who is Angela Merkel without a strong euro? How will she maintain the export led strength of the German economy with a weakened Euro? She runs a cruel organisation and her head would roll down the straat if she was unable protect the benefits of Germany belonging to the Euro.

This issue may set-up an extremely dangerous precedent in many ways: the previously mentioned attack to basic democratic values, the mistrust which this measure will plant in the hearts of European savers, the risk of capital flowing out of Europe by shaken investors, the risk of decreasing the production of the core industrial centres (with an special emphasis on the Southern European Countries), even higher Unemployment rates and for what? To continue the pernicious ideological delirium of inhuman creatures whose desire for control goes beyond this domestic catastrophe? They want – as all evil creatures of this planet want – world domination and will go roughshod over every single citizen who stands in their way to get it.

They are voracious, they will not stop, and they want your money. So don’t forget the three rules*: 1) Keep them away from your money, 2) Vote wisely, and 3) Never, never ever feed them after midnight. And keep reading us!

*Keep reading European Public Affairs to learn more ways to rule out the Gremlin takeover.

Tuesday update:

As in all 80s movies, so far Democracy has overcome evil and darkness. Even the most conservative minions could face an eventual political defenestration for supporting the bail-out plan. However, let’s see what new plots they develop, I have the impression that this is not the end.